Deeper than I’ve ever dreamed of.

I can state for the record that I have sieved the bath. I doubt it will be the last time.

So yet again, it’s been a long time (long time, shouldn’t have left you) since I last blogged. I was travelling home late from work one recent Wednesday night with a colleague who mentioned my blog, which pleased me – so here I am. I pay for the damn domain, so I should really write more.

Last month I visited the Heckington show with my dear brother, staying with my lovely Aunt. Heckington is a small village in Lincolnshire, with little to no phone signal. Hoping for sun, and refusing to check the weather forecast, I decided to take a summer outfit of sandles and shorts. However, the clouds did not appreciate my wardrobe choice and decided that rain was what we deserved. Mud, mud, glorious mud. It was Glastonbury ’98 (I can only imagine) only full of pensioners on mobility scooters. With very tiny wheels. Tiny wheels and mud do not mix.

The show was fabulous. I felt like a city mouse whilst marvelling at tractors, vegetables and other country bumpkin beauties. I was honestly thrilled to see vintage tractors. My aunt, who has lived in t’country for a while now still doesn’t understand the attraction, but was happy enough to sit in the rain with us, tea in hand.

Then the following weekend I was off again, this time I visited Marple. For those who don’t know where that is, it’s quite near Stockport, which is quite near Manchester. Away with pals visiting some other pals, it was fantastic fun and I think the closest I will get to group therapy (before I turn 30). We sorted LEGO, which became controversial when deciding where to put the clear coloured bricks (think orange and blue windshields). It spiralled downhill when the category “special” was created, as really, all LEGO is special.

We also had a good few rounds of pints, curry tapas and codenames. Some even played in the children’s playground. I, the ever casual observer, took photos and decided not to join in the fun of almost getting stuck in a tunnel. We constructed a swing set and took two lovely walks. Best therapy ever. Weather forecast was pants so didn’t pack my shorts. Of course, the sun was out and my pale legs didn’t get a chance.

Shame I had to work throughout the time I was away. At least I had my friends by my side to ease the pain.

To keep myself happy, I have been devising a plan for Halloween. Yes, it’s early and no I don’t give a shit. This weekend my ever patient sister joined me in a quest to find some fabric to make my costume (Winifred from Hocus Pocus) at Tooting Market. We have a lot of work on our hands of course, because I MUST be so EXTRA about EVERYTHING I envisage. Once I have an idea that I love, I must do everything (and spend all the moneys) constructing it. It’s a bad bad habit, but a beautiful one. So we found some gorgeous green fake velvet, and all is well in the world. For now. Searching for a suitable (and cheap but not cheap looking) wig is giving me nightmares. Annie is going to help create my outfit, and I am scared how this will leave our relationship. Why can’t I just be a basic bitch?

On Sunday I joined most of the remnants of my school friends for a BBQ, hosted by the lovely James and Alison. Meat, booze, board games and more meat. We had interrobangs, dicks in boxes and much attempt at making Ajeet laugh due to his rather painful surfing injury. It was great to spend time with everyone, and I really needed the company of friends. My visit was cut short as I had finally a weekend where I could wear shorts, and I wore them! However, I didn’t think that perhaps gardens have trees in them and tend to shed shade, and that maybe I should bring jeans to wear when the weather cooled. I just can’t get it right.

So Dear Reader, to the bath/sieving scenario. After losing a beautiful pair of earrings WHILST ASLEEP, my sister gifted me with some very cute dinosaur studs as a replacement. Note that the beautiful pair of earrings were a Christmas present from the aforementioned sister, and so I felt incredibly guilty. A few days later, I had my annual bath – a dark denim blue with glitter (Lush bath bomb and bubble bar of course) which was dreamy. Whilst scrubbing, I was over enthusiastic (it was make a Mohawk with my hair time) and so accidentally pulled my earring out. Cue aggression.

I stopped sculpting to assess the situation. The earring was not in my hair, nor attached to my body. I rinsed, got dry, dressed and pondered further. As the bath water was indeed very blue and glittery, I could not see the silver T-Rex. I made the decision to grab the sieve and start sieving.

All I achieved was making myself giggle. It was very much a Miranda moment.

As I have a universal plug in my bath, and previous experience has proven that the damn thing leaks water, I thought perhaps I should leave the bath water as is overnight, and inspect in the morning. OF COURSE this time, the plug remained water tight, and thus did not dare to drain. The glitter had since settled, so I carefully drew my hand across the glittery bottom to no avail.

So here I am, one dino down. I have since found one of the original missing earrings, still looking for the other. Updates will be provided on the search party as and when I have more news.

Loves xoxo


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