I’m a sinner, I’m a saint.

Social media is a bitch. It fools you into believing you have hundreds of friends, when in reality you struggle to come up with a list of 20 people (not including fam, I gotchu) that you enjoy spending time with and who like you equally. Now really, this should not bother me because surely it’s better to have quality over quantity but WHAT IF I wanted to host a massive party and rent out a club. Would I be able to do that? No. I wouldn’t rent out a club anyway, that’s not really my style. I would however like to host a party outside my flat, on a large scale. Maybe for my 30th.

So who are these 241 friends I have on Facebook? Well, you’re split between family, edumacation, work, socially or through perhaps someone I went to work with. But who are you really? I don’t like deleting friends on Facebook and will forego my emotions for others.

Ego much?

Ok, what I mean is – If someone goes missing on my Facebook I will only notice if I actively enjoy reading their posts. It’s happened to me a few times, and I feel a little sad that I won’t get to read their crap. So I don’t want a potential reader of this pile of crap to be deleted because I’ve not spoken to them in 3 years. If I didn’t like them…it’s still a difficulty. I might know their mother or dog walker.

You’ll only be deleted if:

1) I won’t bump into you in SW London.

2) I don’t like you.

3) I can’t remember you.

But only if the below applies:

4) Our mutual friends are in the same deletion zone/no mutual friends.

I enjoy reading most of what appears on my Facebook wall, however, I’m going to rant at you.

There’s quite a hefty amount of video content, which can be good or complete pants, but reader.


READER. What the fuck is with the whole advert IN THE MIDDLE of the video? I have never used ad blocker, I deal with the adverts so I can have free content. So you FUCKERS who have been bending the rules have now reduced me to watching 10 seconds of a video and giving up once the advert starts. A “Fuck it” stance is pulled and I refuse to watch. Until the next viral pile of shite. It’s infuriating. I pay for services that have free options with adverts to avoid constant advertising for a reason!

One day when I have grown up and own a joke shop small, nonchalant business, I think I’ll advertise on Adblocker.

Back to the 30th Birthday, I’m quite stuck on what to do. I think I want to spend lots of time with small groups of friends, rather than one big Facebook feed of a group. I think one of these day trips will be trampolining in Earlsfield, followed by a pub. It’s going to be activity week; back to school extravaganza. Think casual chic.

Might include a day trip on the ferry to Paris…

Loves xoxo

Disclaimer: You may have noticed that a lot of fucks were mentioned in this blog. Note: None were harmed, all were given.


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