Berrycakeness

After 14 months of silence, I’ve resurfaced. Reason? A friend of mine read aloud my most ranty post and I didn’t mind listening to it. Yes, dear reader, I was drinking at the time but even when I then read my aged posts whilst sober, it didn’t cast the expected speech of “What a twat, jog on”.

It did however highlight that I perhaps have a more desirable vocabulary and sentence structure when writing vs speaking, #whatevs.

There’s a fair few updates to my life since January 2015, so I won’t bore with all the exciting things that have happened, however, as an egoist, this is what I would post with a photo of myself in the Oxford dictionary. Tatler refused me for some rather arrogant reasoning.

Gemma /Jem-uh/ n. informal. 28 year old female of the Berry/Taylor collaboration. Tall with brown eyes and slightly green hair. Found most comfortable in a hoodie, but will wear a cardigan if the weather warms/social occasion arises. Is usually sarcastic and rude. Rarely without a microphone (or microphone replacement) in hand. Is rather forgetful.  Reacts to most social situations by laughing, being totally silly and consuming an occasional alcoholic beverage. Origin – fields of the south. L. [berrycakeness totallis]

Ooh…I can hear my 30 year old self now..”Gemma, shut the fuck up”. I’m also positive she’ll still own that jumper.

Moving on, I plan to write on here a little more often. Not that I need to, but I do quite like writing from time to time.

Peace out my little falafel balls xoxo

Currently listening to: Etta James – Blues