Berrycakeness

Brain dump alert. Best wishes.

If you’ve ever met me, you’ll understand that wearing a dress does not come naturally. I generally make it known within the first 30 minutes of a conversation, at which point I’m expecting you prefer my personality more than my casual ensemble. Unless my t-shirt is far superior (we all have our off days).

I don’t usually opt to wear dresses (or anything deemed ‘smart’), but social occasions do arise whereby I’d feel absolutely at a loss if I didn’t. However, when I do then wear one I feel very awkward unless I am suitably drunk, in which case I inevitably forget I am wearing a dress and therefore become less ‘ladylike’. If you’re now laughing at your screen squealing “she’s never ladylike” then you’re definitely someone who has spent a considerable length of time with me at a pub.

I don’t understand the concept of being more or less of a lady. Granted, I’d never use the word lady. Woman sounds less OAP, but still too grown up. Girly is what 8 year olds are and female is way too clinical i.e. Female, you have not turned up for your cervical smear ever. Go face to vagina with a gynaecologist this instance.

The necessity of dress wearing to social events is in my top 10 of things to complain about, but I won’t continue as ranty posts make me sound terribly exciting, of which I am not.

Moving on, I’d like to honour a recent death of an absolute hero. What more fitting than to say goodbye to Victoria Wood in a post complaining about dresses and mentioning gynaecologists, hmm?

I listened to and watched as much Victoria Wood material I could lay my hands on at an early age. I remember correcting my mother the words to ‘Let’s do it’ on several occasions, arguing at which order the verses were in. Perhaps not quite appropriate for a pre-teen, but whatever age you are, hearing a grown woman sing “beat me on the bottom with a Womans Weekly” should be far more entertaining than whatever Radio 2 (is that still the cool one?) is blasting on repeat.

If you’ve not heard of V.W, please indulge. I won’t bore you with links, please investigate youtube and report back.

Oh, go on then. A clip from a 1988 Stand-up: Things would never have worked.

Peace out xoxo